Your wife wants a separation. The words felt like a blow to your heart and to your body. The woman you adore, the one woman you’ve built your life with has now decided that she doesn’t want to be your wife anymore. She wants out and she wants it to happen very soon. It’s understandable why you’d feel numb and uncertain after hearing her tell you this. Your future that you thought was going to be filled with a lifetime of loving her is now full of unanswered questions. You have to do something to change this situation now. If you don’t, that separation she’s seeking will turn into a divorce and she’ll walk out of your life for good.
When your wife wants a separation, burying your head in the sand or in the past isn’t going to help. You can’t ignore this and expect that it’s a passing mood and will get better. It’s much more serious than that. Most women don’t idly throw around threats of wanting a separation. To them it’s a very serious decision that they’ve given enormous thought to before they even mention the idea. You need to take this as a sign of what it really is. Your wife is unhappy in her relationship with you and she feels that the only way to solve the problem is to have some time away from you.
The fact that your wife has suggested a separation and not a divorce is telling. It means that she’s not ready to pull the plug on the entire relationship yet. That gives you time to right your wrongs and get her to feel closer to you again. That starts with giving her what she needs this moment which may mean agreeing to a temporary separation so she can sort through her feelings.
Although it can be incredibly humbling and painful you need to talk to your wife about why she feels this step is necessary. Don’t do this from a place of desperation. Instead, calmly ask her if you can talk to her about why she feels that a separation is her only recourse. She’ll likely share some details about why she’s unhappy and they’ll center primarily on you. Listen to what she says without jumping to defend yourself. You may be surprised to learn that there are things that are driving her away from you that you can easily change.
Be supportive of your wife through this process and ensure she knows that you cherish her and love her. Continue to be in touch once the two of you do physically separate. Also, work on making yourself into a better person and husband. If she sees you putting in an effort to make real, positive changes, that will help guide her back to you. A separation may actually help you to build a stronger relationship because you’ll both realize how much the other means to you.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don’t have to worry about whether your wife is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make her fall hopelessly in love with you.